The best animal jokes

As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!” Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!” Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, dog
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Vote:
has 61.15 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
Vote:
has 60.99 % from 435 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
How are black people and wolves similar? They both fight in packs.
Vote:
has 60.97 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds. It goes ching chong wu. So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound. Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river. The black guy ask was that noise. The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative. See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun. The black guy says let me try. He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
Vote:
has 60.97 % from 424 votes. More jokes about: animal, asian, black people, racist
<<<44454647
More jokes →
Page 44 of 153.