If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote:
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road.
He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen.
Damn, that is one ugly child!."
As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears.
Just then, a mailman came to her rescue.
"What's the matter, madam?" he asked.
"I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed.
"There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket.
"Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"