The best animal jokes

If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
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has 63.95 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, disgusting, poems
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