Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside.
"We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off.
One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream."
"Okay, let's," said Toku.
Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.