What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."