What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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