The best animal jokes

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
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