The best animal jokes

Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!" The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have." The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!" The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar. The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks! The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more". This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on the bar and says "lets see him play this!" The octopus starts crawling all over the bagpipes. He continues this for quite awhile. The bartender shouted out " See I knew he couldn't play all these instruments!" And the man replies, "Just give him a few more minutes... as soon as he figures out he can't have sex with it, he'll play it!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!” The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?” The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”. The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
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