The best animal jokes

Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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has 63.80 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, friendship
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
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