The best animal jokes

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport


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