Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"
To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."