Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”.
The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?”
The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”.
The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher-
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.