Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Holstaines.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.