Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?" "Let us spray!" replied the other.
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.