The best animal jokes

What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
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What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
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What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
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What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
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A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time