What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse?
Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.