What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out.
One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.
In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while.
Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.
"However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk.
"In-stinct," replied Out.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Vote:
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something.
They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them.
Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes.
The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!"
The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
Vote:
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Vote:
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".