The best animal jokes

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, car
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, school
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
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