What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".