The best animal jokes

A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."

When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.

"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.

A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time. In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while. Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him. "However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk. "In-stinct," replied Out.

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!

Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!