While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion.
You can always shoot the bull.
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Holstaines.
What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.