Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.