How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."