What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.