What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"