The best animal jokes

"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
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