The best animal jokes

How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 56.09 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
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