The best animal jokes

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, religious
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Vote: has 58.68 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, racist
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Vote: has 58.68 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography


<<<71727374
More jokes →
Page 71 of 150.