The best animal jokes

Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
Vote: has 59.95 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Vote: has 59.94 % from 122 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
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More jokes about: animal
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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More jokes about: animal, sex
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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More jokes about: animal
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, math