The best animal jokes

What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, “Tsquare, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?” The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
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