The best animal jokes

Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote:
has 59.06 % from 557 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
Vote:
has 58.98 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music
A Shark alarm at Sydney’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water –except for three young boys who didn’'t hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, “That was the most heroic thing I’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper: “Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!” “Thanks.” Smiles the fella, “but I'’m not an Aussie. I'’m a British backpacker.” “No worries,” said the journalist with a frown, “it'’ll still be front-page news.” The next day, the newspaper’s headline screamed, “Pommy bastard kills boy'’s pet fish!”
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
<<<70717273
More jokes →
Page 70 of 151.