No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!