Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely, The CAT
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.