What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.