What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.