Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey.
Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing.
He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey.
After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead
She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it."
"Why?" asked the lady.
He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.