The best animal jokes

What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, religious
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, science
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