What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them?
Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out.
One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.
In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while.
Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.
"However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk.
"In-stinct," replied Out.
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
Vote:
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Vote:
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"