The best animal jokes

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, car
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, horse
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, school
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
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