The best animal jokes

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running.  About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.  He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.  The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.  The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.  The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, fart
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 55.05 % from 693 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
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