The best animal jokes

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
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has 55.48 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, driving
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 55.09 % from 682 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
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