The best animal jokes

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, driving
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 55.29 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
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