The best animal jokes

What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
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