The best animal jokes

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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More jokes about: animal, bar, women
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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More jokes about: animal
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
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More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"
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More jokes about: animal
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
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More jokes about: animal, music
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
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More jokes about: animal, money
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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More jokes about: animal, weather
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
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More jokes about: animal


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