The best animal jokes

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 54.52 % from 712 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.”Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.” “It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.” “Oh, that would be wonderful” replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.” “Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, “Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.” So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, “Well, you’re smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I’d say you must be French”
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
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