It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote:
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
What happened when the shark became famous?
He tured into a starfish.
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.