What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.