Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?" The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.