Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!