Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!