The best animal jokes

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, food
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
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has 55.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
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