A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
Vote:
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.