Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh. 
Vote:
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote:
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.