The best animal jokes

A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, horse
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Vote: has 58.65 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog