Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"