The best animal jokes

Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, horse
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Vote: has 58.65 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT