Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.