The best animal jokes

What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
Vote:
has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote:
has 54.80 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Vote:
has 54.80 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
<<<80818283
More jokes →
Page 80 of 152.