How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.