The best animal jokes

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote:
has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote:
has 55.40 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<78798081
More jokes →
Page 78 of 152.