The best animal jokes

What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
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How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
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Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
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A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
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