The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote:
has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote:
has 55.09 % from 659 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote:
has 55.07 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<76777879
More jokes →
Page 76 of 153.