Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications.
Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.
Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion!
Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"