Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”