Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Vote:
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Vote:
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.