The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
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