A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment.
‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk.
‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’
‘The circus?’ says the dog.
‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court.
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!