Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.