Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.