Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.