Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.