Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?"
"Yes, I was. So what?"
"Were you sitting on the table?"
"Yeah, why?"
The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!"
"But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders.
"Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"