Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Vote:
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Vote:
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote:
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.