The best birthday jokes

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 66.21 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote: has 65.18 % from 254 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, kids
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, Chuck Norris
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, black humor, party, religious
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, birthday, Chuck Norris, doctor
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, medical, political, republican, science