The best birthday jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote:
has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote:
has 64.49 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, kids
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, Chuck Norris
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, blonde
On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, cop, friendship