The best birthday jokes

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
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has 64.63 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, kids
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, cop, friendship
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, Chuck Norris
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, blonde
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, Chuck Norris, doctor