The best birthday jokes

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 67.10 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote: has 64.49 % from 258 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, kids
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, birthday, cop, friendship
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, Chuck Norris