The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!