Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.