The best black humor jokes

This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, music
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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has 72.64 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, morbid, racist, sport
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 72.41 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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has 72.05 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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