The best black humor jokes

This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, music
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