Black humour is like a pair of legs.
Not everyone has it.
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine.
I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
A guy has a bad habit:
He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives.
So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't.
Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid.
Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help.
So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch.
They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street.
He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
Q: How does every black joke start?
A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
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"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?"
"He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.
And they've been pinned down in their trench for days.
Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."
So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.
But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal.
So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench.
So obviously they're pretty confused.
They ask "what the hell took you so long man?"
The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great."
One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?"
He replies "There was no head."
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W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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