The best black humor jokes

This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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has 73.81 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: black humor, old people, wife
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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has 73.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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has 72.92 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 72.60 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
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