Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before."
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before."
The legless man shakes his head again.
Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before."
The legless man says, "No."
The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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What rule could stop HIV in Africa?
Sex after dinner only.
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