Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews have 10 fingers.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
What rule could stop HIV in Africa? Sex after dinner only.