Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!