What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"