Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''