What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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