Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews have 10 fingers.
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!