What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
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What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff.
The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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