What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream. Q: How do you get them out? A: Chips.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.