What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
What rule could stop HIV in Africa? Sex after dinner only.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.