A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue? A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.