A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews have 10 fingers.
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.