Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars. The last one was called the Hindenburg.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.