Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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