What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.