How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic?
He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?"
Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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