I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars. The last one was called the Hindenburg.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Q: What is the point of Jewish football? A: To get the quarter back
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.