Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!