How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz