The best black humor jokes

A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, racist, white people
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
Vote: has 57.62 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Vote: has 56.89 % from 69 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Vote: has 56.88 % from 100 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor


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