The best black humor jokes

Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend? A: He wiped his bottom.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, friendship
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geek
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.
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has 56.93 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, women
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
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has 56.66 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, wife
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 56.63 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, navy, sex
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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