The best black humor jokes

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
has 44.82 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
has 44.50 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
has 44.48 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
has 43.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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