Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!