Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!