If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?