How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
Q: What do black people smoke? A: Niggerettes.
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.