The best black humor jokes

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
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Late in the night he regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?" That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
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The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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More jokes about: black humor, relationship
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
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More jokes about: black humor, travel
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
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More jokes about: black humor, music
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Vote: has 80.77 % from 513 votes. Send joke:

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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage