The best black humor jokes

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
Vote: has 81.97 % from 342 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 81.85 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
Vote: has 81.19 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, travel
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote: has 80.92 % from 534 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
Vote: has 80.86 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A nun and a priest decide to take a day off, so they go golfing. The nun gets a hole-in-one, but the priest hits it into a sand trap. He's so angry, he shouts "God dammit, I missed!". The nun reminds him not to take the Lord's name in vain, and the priest apologizes and tries again. He hits it into the rough, and in his anger, shouts "God dammit, I MISSED!". The nun once again tells him not to take the Lord's name in vain, and he apologizes again. On his third shot, he hits it into the water and yells "GOD DAMMIT I MISSED!" and before the nun can say anything, a bolt of lightning strikes the nun, killing her instantly. Out of nowhere, a loud voice booms "God dammit, I missed".
Vote: has 80.76 % from 198 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, god, golf, priest
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Vote: has 80.72 % from 506 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, wife
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
Vote: has 80.62 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, hunting, wife