The best black humor jokes

A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
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has 82.10 % from 624 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, husband, women
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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has 82.10 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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has 82.07 % from 593 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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has 82.02 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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has 82.01 % from 416 votes. More jokes about: black humor
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
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has 81.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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has 81.60 % from 1058 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport
I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."
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has 81.39 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, funeral
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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has 81.30 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"
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has 81.26 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family, school
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