The best black humor jokes

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
Vote:
has 82.34 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Vote:
has 82.13 % from 715 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, husband, women
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote:
has 81.95 % from 469 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
Vote:
has 81.94 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, old people, phone
If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
Vote:
has 81.57 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
Vote:
has 81.55 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, hospital
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Vote:
has 81.55 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote:
has 81.43 % from 636 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."
Vote:
has 81.37 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote:
has 81.32 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
<<<4567
More jokes →
Page 4 of 53.