The best black humor jokes

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in." The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds."
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has 83.10 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: black humor, work
The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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has 82.79 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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has 82.73 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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has 82.38 % from 268 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, old people, phone
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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has 82.35 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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has 82.26 % from 1032 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport
I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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has 82.10 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: black humor, relationship
My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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has 82.01 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: black humor
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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has 82.00 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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has 81.89 % from 575 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
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