The best black humor jokes

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
Vote: has 82.16 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

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Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
Vote: has 82.08 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, dog, mother in law, work
Late in the night he regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?" That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
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The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."
Vote: has 81.37 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
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More jokes about: black humor, travel
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Vote: has 80.72 % from 506 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, wife
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death