The best black humor jokes

I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
has 82.81 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: black humor, relationship
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
has 82.75 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, old people, phone
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
has 82.65 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
has 82.64 % from 400 votes. More jokes about: black humor
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
has 82.31 % from 1035 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
has 82.08 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fitness
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
has 82.03 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, war
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
has 81.84 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...
has 81.77 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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