The best black humor jokes

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
Vote: has 80.50 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
Vote: has 80.45 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
Vote: has 80.45 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, kids, wife
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
Vote: has 80.43 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
Vote: has 80.30 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
Vote: has 80.02 % from 230 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote: has 79.91 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
Vote: has 79.75 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, hospital
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 79.66 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship