Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?
"Ask your sister"
"I don't have a..."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
Vote:
An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Vote:
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote:
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: All of them.
Vote:
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
Want to hear a clean joke?
The boy took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a man.
Vote:
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
Vote:
Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family.
This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man's turn.
He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
Vote: