Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."