Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?
"Ask your sister"
"I don't have a..."
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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