How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
how do you keep a black person out of your backyard? Hang one in the front.
Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car? A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.