How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane.
The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
They get out of the plane.
They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog."
They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat."
They keep walking.
They come up to a blonde laughing her head off.
"Why are you laughing so hard?" they said.
"When I farted the building blew up!"
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin.
Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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