The best blonde jokes

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex
Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other. After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it. Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?" "Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response. Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, stupid, work
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?  A: By doing the splits.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river. The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns. The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns. The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, travel
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: birthday, blonde
Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common? A: They both have a black box.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, stupid
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