How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common? A: They both have a black box.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink A: A cocktail.
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us." So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down. The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!" The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!" So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets. So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF." "It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW." "It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!
A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. "You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."