The best blonde jokes

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?  A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote:
has 58.93 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico. They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them. As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river. One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light." The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
Vote:
has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, mexican
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?" Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?" Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How does a blond spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, blonde
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
<<<34353637
More jokes →
Page 34 of 79.