A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt. "Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first? The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road? A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., "What's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.