A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet." The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun." The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back. The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun." The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.