The best blonde jokes

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, school
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, work
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, party, stupid, women
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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