The best blonde jokes

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days. "Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day." So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day. The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?" She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar. The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal." "That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car." "Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice. About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?" "No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer? A: Extra large, hold the roots.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, school
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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