The best blonde jokes

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try." "I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. "I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately. The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a man." She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sing said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is: A miracle
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go? A blonde at a flashing red light!
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
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