The best blonde jokes

Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, marriage
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try." "I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. "I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately. The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a man." She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is: A miracle
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 46.28 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Why did the blonde have empty beer cans in her fridge? For people who don't drink.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, friendship, insulting, relationship, stupid
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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