I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,” So they turned around and went home.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.