The best blonde jokes

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, food, ginger
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Vote:
has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Vote:
has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, music, sex
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A. She moved.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Vote:
has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer? A: Extra large, hold the roots.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21.
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
<<<52535455
More jokes →
Page 52 of 79.