The best blonde jokes

Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
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has 40.75 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, women
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear? Data transfer.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: blonde, work
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel
A blond was taking a shower and her husband called in and asked "did you find the new dry hair shampoo I picked up for you?" And the blond replied "yes but there's a problem I already got my hair wet"
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, husband
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, health
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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