The best celebrity jokes

Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, health, political
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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has 30.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, god, money
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, celebrity, drunk
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
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has 29.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?" 2nd Officer: "Who?" 1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!" 2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?" 1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, cop
One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall. All of a sudden a naked lone figure was seen bent over on the side of the road. Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop. He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi. She was naked with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles. The president said, "OMG Nancy what happened?" She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die! The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper. He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"
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has 27.36 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, dirty, mexican, political
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