The best celebrity jokes

Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, health, political
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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has 30.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, god, money
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, celebrity, drunk
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven. There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise. Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell. After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations." St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise. From that day and then there was a disturbing silence. After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what? Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking. Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ. He calls him and says: "God will punish you" And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
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has 26.88 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, heaven, life
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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has 26.88 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
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