The best celebrity jokes

Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, life
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
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has 38.99 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, death, god, IT
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, celebrity, Chuck Norris
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, war
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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has 37.08 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, dirty, drug, music
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death, music
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
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has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
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