Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
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Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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