The best celebrity jokes

Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, political, sport
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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has 42.13 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, military, war
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, medical, music
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, health
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, Halloween
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT
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