Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen