Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking?
A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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