Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".