The best christian jokes

Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: christian, communication, ethnic, heaven, time
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, relationship
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw... brought both paws together... bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, atheist, christian, god, life
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, Santa
A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: christian, stupid
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