The best christian jokes

Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: christian, customer service, doctor, money
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
has 71.20 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, christian, Chuck Norris, communication
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
has 66.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, relationship
A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: christian, stupid
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
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