The best christian jokes

Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, easter
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
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has 70.78 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, christian, Chuck Norris, communication
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, relationship
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