The best christian jokes

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, relationship
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Vote: has 71.15 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, Santa
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
Vote: has 70.75 % from 128 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, christian, Chuck Norris, communication
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bible, christian
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bible, christian
A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, stupid
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, christian, food


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