You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.