The best Chuck Norris jokes

In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, travel
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political