You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
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