Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.