Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.