Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".